Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city.
- Oscar Wilde
The tactical difference between Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former, the ball is the missile, in the latter, men are the missles.
- Alfred E. Crawley
Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous.
- Chris Laidlaw
Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman’s game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.
- Henry Blaha
The whole point of rugby is that it is, first and foremost, a state of mind, a spirit.
- Jean-Pierre Rives
Rugby is great.The players don’t wear helmets or padding; they just beat the living daylights out of each other and then go for a beer.I love that.
- Joe Theismann
It’s a really exciting time to be involved in Welsh rugby.
- Jonah Lomu
From : Rugby Quotes
Friday, March 21, 2008
Sorry Quotes
Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.
- Isaac Friedmann
I am very conscious that I am not wise at all.
- Socrates
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
- Mark Twain
When you realize you have made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
- Dan Heist
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
- Aesop
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
- Kimberly Johnson
There is a strength in the union of very sorry men.
- Homer
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
- Daivd Herbert
It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.
- Grace Hopper
Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.
- Evelyn Underhill
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
- Anonymous
You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
- Edgar Watson
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
- William Blake
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese
Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
- Anonymous
From : Sorry Quotes
- Isaac Friedmann
I am very conscious that I am not wise at all.
- Socrates
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
- Mark Twain
When you realize you have made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
- Dan Heist
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
- Aesop
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
- Kimberly Johnson
There is a strength in the union of very sorry men.
- Homer
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
- Daivd Herbert
It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.
- Grace Hopper
Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.
- Evelyn Underhill
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
- Anonymous
You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
- Edgar Watson
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
- William Blake
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese
Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
- Anonymous
From : Sorry Quotes
Funny Addiction Quotes
Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?
--Clifford Stoll --
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
--Tallulah Bankhead --
I take it to be a principle rule of life, not to be too much addicted to any one thing.
--Terence --
The addiction to sports, therefore, in a peculiar degree marks an
arrested development in man's moral nature.
--Thorstein Veblen --
Addiction should never be treated as a crime.
It has to be treated as a health problem.
We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country.
Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.
--Ralph Nader --
A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in
excess it is nearly always bad for the health.
--Clarence Day --
There is only one reason why men become addicted to drugs, they are weak men.
Only strong men are cured, and they cure themselves.
--Martin H. Fischer --
From : Funny Addiction Quotes
--Clifford Stoll --
Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
--Tallulah Bankhead --
I take it to be a principle rule of life, not to be too much addicted to any one thing.
--Terence --
The addiction to sports, therefore, in a peculiar degree marks an
arrested development in man's moral nature.
--Thorstein Veblen --
Addiction should never be treated as a crime.
It has to be treated as a health problem.
We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country.
Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.
--Ralph Nader --
A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in
excess it is nearly always bad for the health.
--Clarence Day --
There is only one reason why men become addicted to drugs, they are weak men.
Only strong men are cured, and they cure themselves.
--Martin H. Fischer --
From : Funny Addiction Quotes
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Soccer Quotes
I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion.
- Mia Hamm
A champion is someone who does not settle for that day’s practice, that day’s competition, that day’s performance. They are always striving to be better. They don’t live in the past.
- Briana Scurry
Those who say it can’t be done, shouldn’t interfere with those who are doing it.
- Billy Eberhart
The Vision of a Champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, and the point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching
- Anson Dorrance
The Glaswegian definition of an atheist: a bloke who goes to a Rangers-Celtic match to watch the football.
- Sandy Strang
The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It’s the biggest sin in football to make him do any work.
- George Graham
Some people tell me that we professional players are soccer slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence.
- Bobby Charlton
At a football club, there’s a holy trinity - the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don’t come into it. They are only there to sign the checks.
- Bill Shankley
Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it.
- Mia Hamm
You can have the top stars to bring the attention, you can have the best stadium, you can have the best facilities, you can have the most beautiful project in terms of marketing and all this kind of thing. But if you don’t win… All the work these people are doing is forgotten.
- Jose Mourinho
Every time I went away I was deceiving my mum. I’d tell her I was going to school but I’d be out on the street playing football. I always had a ball on my feet.
-Ronaldo
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
- Nike (beckham)
We hope Du Wei could be Yao Ming on the football pitch here
- Gordon Strachan
We’ve never had a pop-star footballer quite like David (Beckham). People here simply can’t get enough
- Alan Smith
I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better
- Arsene Wenger
from Soccer Quotes
Confucius Quotes
To be fond of learning is near to wisdom.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Silence is a friend who will never betray.
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
You cannot open a book without learning something.
Ignorance is the night of mind, a night without moon or star.
Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.
If you enjoy what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.
From : Confucius Quotes
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Silence is a friend who will never betray.
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
You cannot open a book without learning something.
Ignorance is the night of mind, a night without moon or star.
Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.
If you enjoy what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.
From : Confucius Quotes
Emo Quotes
“Euthenasia sounds like such a good idea. Why can’t young people sign up for it voluntarily? I’m tired of waking up every morning and crying into my Rice Krispies. It’s just Sob, Splutter and Sob for me, every goddamn day.”
“I’ve never felt I’ve been valued by anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home.”
“Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can’t. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!”
“I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”
“I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn’t have to give a damn y’know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It’s my idea of heaven y’know? Perhaps that’s what happens when you die and you’ve been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity”
“I’m tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.”
“If God exists why did He have to give me such a horrible looking body? I mean what’s the point in having nipples if you are a man? I’ve tried biting them off in the past but I doubt I could handle the pain. I don’t know what I’d say to Mother on the way to the hospital either……”
“Bill Hicks………how adorable! There’s just something about him that reminds me of a chipmunk. I’d love to feed him a bit of wood and stroke his wig. What do you mean he’s dead?”
From : Emo Quotes
“I’ve never felt I’ve been valued by anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home.”
“Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can’t. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!”
“I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”
“I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn’t have to give a damn y’know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It’s my idea of heaven y’know? Perhaps that’s what happens when you die and you’ve been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity”
“I’m tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.”
“If God exists why did He have to give me such a horrible looking body? I mean what’s the point in having nipples if you are a man? I’ve tried biting them off in the past but I doubt I could handle the pain. I don’t know what I’d say to Mother on the way to the hospital either……”
“Bill Hicks………how adorable! There’s just something about him that reminds me of a chipmunk. I’d love to feed him a bit of wood and stroke his wig. What do you mean he’s dead?”
From : Emo Quotes
Health Quotes
The greatest wealth is health.
- Virgil
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- Anonymous
In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge.
- Colette
The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.
- G.K. Chesterton
I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.
- Anonymous
Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
- Anonymous
Health of body and mind is a great blessing, if we can bear it.
- J.H. Cardinal Newman
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- Anonymous
From : Health Quotes
- Virgil
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- Anonymous
In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge.
- Colette
The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.
- G.K. Chesterton
I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.
- Anonymous
Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
- Anonymous
Health of body and mind is a great blessing, if we can bear it.
- J.H. Cardinal Newman
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- Anonymous
From : Health Quotes
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Baseball Quotes
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
- Bob Feller
This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.
- Bill Veeck
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.
- Bryant Gumbel
The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.
- Hank Aaron
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
- Rogers Hornsby
The trouble with baseball is that it is not played the year round.
- Gaylord Perry
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possible be - in baseball and in life.
- Pete Rose
Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.
- Anonymous
A baseball fan has the digestive apparatus of a billy goat. He can, and does, devour any set of diamond statistics with insatiable appetite and then nuzzles hungrily for more.
- Arthur Daley
Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he’s losing; nobody wants you to quit when you’re ahead.
- Jackie Robinson
From : Baseball Quotes
- Bob Feller
This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.
- Bill Veeck
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.
- Bryant Gumbel
The triple is the most exciting play in baseball. Home runs win a lot of games, but I never understood why fans are so obsessed with them.
- Hank Aaron
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
- Rogers Hornsby
The trouble with baseball is that it is not played the year round.
- Gaylord Perry
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possible be - in baseball and in life.
- Pete Rose
Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.
- Anonymous
A baseball fan has the digestive apparatus of a billy goat. He can, and does, devour any set of diamond statistics with insatiable appetite and then nuzzles hungrily for more.
- Arthur Daley
Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he’s losing; nobody wants you to quit when you’re ahead.
- Jackie Robinson
From : Baseball Quotes
Dirty Quotes
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
- Mahatma Gandhi
A clean fighter in a dirty game.
- Wilfrid Diamond
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
- Patrick Dennis
I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.
- David Boreanaz
Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.
- Gregory Null
We’re dirty pop. It’s a trend now, but we were the first ones to do it!
- Justin Timberlake
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
- Patrick Dennis
I’m a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl last time I checked.
- Tori Amos
You’re a woman who’s been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but you’ll have to stay in the garage all night.
- Groucho Marx
If American politics are too dirty for women to take part in, there’s something wrong with American politics.
- Edna Ferber
From : Dirty Quotes
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
- Mahatma Gandhi
A clean fighter in a dirty game.
- Wilfrid Diamond
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
- Patrick Dennis
I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.
- David Boreanaz
Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.
- Gregory Null
We’re dirty pop. It’s a trend now, but we were the first ones to do it!
- Justin Timberlake
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
- Patrick Dennis
I’m a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl last time I checked.
- Tori Amos
You’re a woman who’s been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but you’ll have to stay in the garage all night.
- Groucho Marx
If American politics are too dirty for women to take part in, there’s something wrong with American politics.
- Edna Ferber
From : Dirty Quotes
Clever Quotes
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay..so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.
God is clever, but not dishonest.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.
From : Clever Quotes
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.
God is clever, but not dishonest.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.
From : Clever Quotes
Cool Quotes
No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive.
Honesty is the best policy.
If you see something you like, take it and make it better.
If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have.
I’m serious; it was only a joke.
One drop of ink may make a million think.
I only work to enjoy when I am not working.
From : Cool Quotes
Honesty is the best policy.
If you see something you like, take it and make it better.
If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have.
I’m serious; it was only a joke.
One drop of ink may make a million think.
I only work to enjoy when I am not working.
From : Cool Quotes
Funny Wedding Quotes
Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.
She knows all about me and loves me just the same.
May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.
Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.
It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.
An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
From : Funny Wedding Quotes
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.
She knows all about me and loves me just the same.
May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.
Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.
It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.
An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
From : Funny Wedding Quotes
Funny Adventure Quotes
Funny Adventure Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you
may be the world An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
--G. K. Chesterton --
Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain.
Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life --
facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources a
gainst the unknown and in the process, discovering our own unique potential.
--John Amatt organizer and participant in Canada's
first successful expedition to the summit of Mt Everest.--
Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline
in which everybody is constantly graded for performance.
--Milton R. Saperstein --
Death is the most beautiful adventure in life.
--Charles Frohman ---
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.
--Helen Keller --
Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly
lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure
in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger,
to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.
--Annie Besant English Peace and Social Justice Advocate ---
From : Funny Adventure Quotes
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you
may be the world An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
--G. K. Chesterton --
Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain.
Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life --
facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources a
gainst the unknown and in the process, discovering our own unique potential.
--John Amatt organizer and participant in Canada's
first successful expedition to the summit of Mt Everest.--
Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline
in which everybody is constantly graded for performance.
--Milton R. Saperstein --
Death is the most beautiful adventure in life.
--Charles Frohman ---
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.
--Helen Keller --
Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly
lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure
in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger,
to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.
--Annie Besant English Peace and Social Justice Advocate ---
From : Funny Adventure Quotes
Funny Myspace Quotes
“A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on”
“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”
“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasnt met me yet.”
“The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.”
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”
“I dont make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
“Its clearly a budget. Its got a lot of numbers in it.”
From : Funny Myspace Quotes
“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”
“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasnt met me yet.”
“The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.”
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”
“I dont make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
“Its clearly a budget. Its got a lot of numbers in it.”
From : Funny Myspace Quotes
Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
From : Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
From : Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes
Funny Anniversary Quotes
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
True love stories never end.
Anniversary : A time to celebrate the beauty, gift, and the blessing of enduring love.
Knowing you will be with me in all my tomorrows, makes my today so wonderful.
There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to your loved one.
On this our anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than anything in the world.
A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
I will not love you for the rest of your life, but for the rest of my life.
Marriage is choosing someone again and again to love and to cherish with each new dawn.
Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.
A successful married life requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.
Love is there when both person are more concerned for the other than for one's self.
From : Funny Anniversary Quotes
True love stories never end.
Anniversary : A time to celebrate the beauty, gift, and the blessing of enduring love.
Knowing you will be with me in all my tomorrows, makes my today so wonderful.
There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to your loved one.
On this our anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than anything in the world.
A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
I will not love you for the rest of your life, but for the rest of my life.
Marriage is choosing someone again and again to love and to cherish with each new dawn.
Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.
A successful married life requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.
Love is there when both person are more concerned for the other than for one's self.
From : Funny Anniversary Quotes
Funny Age Quotes
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
I grow more intense as I age.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
A young man is embarrassed to question an older one.
The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.
Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.
Young men's minds are always changeable, but when an old man is concerned in a matter, he looks both before and after.
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.
Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.
Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals ?
From : Funny Age Quotes
I grow more intense as I age.
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
A young man is embarrassed to question an older one.
The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.
Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.
Young men's minds are always changeable, but when an old man is concerned in a matter, he looks both before and after.
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.
Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.
Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals ?
From : Funny Age Quotes
Funny Borat Quotes
“In U.S. and A. they treat horses like we in Kazakhstan treat our women. They feed them two times a day. They have them sleep on straw in a small box. And for entertainment, they make them jump over fences while being whipped.”
"Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog."
Borat Funny Quotes by Da Ali G Show.
“There are many job opportunities in the US and of A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.”
“Hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq.”
“Throw the Jew down the well,
So my country can be free,
You must grab him by the horns,
Then we have a big party.”
Borat Funny Quotes by By Da Ali G Show.
“My wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face, there won’t be any around here?”
By Da Ali G Show.
From : Funny Borat Quotes
"Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog."
Borat Funny Quotes by Da Ali G Show.
“There are many job opportunities in the US and of A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.”
“Hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq.”
“Throw the Jew down the well,
So my country can be free,
You must grab him by the horns,
Then we have a big party.”
Borat Funny Quotes by By Da Ali G Show.
“My wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face, there won’t be any around here?”
By Da Ali G Show.
From : Funny Borat Quotes
Funny Engineering Quotes
It has become appallingly obvious that our
technology has exceeded our humanity ..
Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.
Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist:
The glass is half empty. Re-engineering
Consultant: That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets
dark, you don't throwaway the ticket and jump off.
You sit still and trust the engineer.
If email had been around before the telephone was
invented, people would have said, "Hey, forget
email! With this new telephone invention I can
actually talk to people!"
The good news: Computers allow us to work 100%
faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more
work.
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be."
Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.
From : Funny Engineering Quotes
technology has exceeded our humanity ..
Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.
Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist:
The glass is half empty. Re-engineering
Consultant: That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets
dark, you don't throwaway the ticket and jump off.
You sit still and trust the engineer.
If email had been around before the telephone was
invented, people would have said, "Hey, forget
email! With this new telephone invention I can
actually talk to people!"
The good news: Computers allow us to work 100%
faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more
work.
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be."
Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.
From : Funny Engineering Quotes
Funny Math Quotes
A mathematician is a scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.
Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Mathematics - the unshaken Foundation of Sciences, and the plentiful Fountain of Advantage to human affairs.
I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.
If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.
Math is radical!
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head.
Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.
Even stranger things have happened; and perhaps the strangest of all is the marvel that mathematics should be possible to a race akin to the apes.
So if a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again.
From : Funny Math Quotes
Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.
Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Mathematics - the unshaken Foundation of Sciences, and the plentiful Fountain of Advantage to human affairs.
I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.
If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.
Math is radical!
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head.
Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.
Even stranger things have happened; and perhaps the strangest of all is the marvel that mathematics should be possible to a race akin to the apes.
So if a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again.
From : Funny Math Quotes
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